Dear One,
I am truly grateful to you for e-listening.
My intention is to share how I found my way through to the other side of profound darkness in hopes that this may be of value to you. My aim is to be of aid to you (even if it’s just a wee bit) in getting through whatever adversity you may be facing.
In my rising from falling, I found some moments were nearly insufferable. Maneuvering through intense, sometimes emotional times was part of making it to the other side of difficulties.
How, you ask?
PPWS…
‘Pause, Pray, Wait for emotion to die down, & Silence’.
These 4 words became an internal anthem that I practiced when issues arose (uh, arise) that felt too hard. PPWS gave (gives) me time to breathe, step back and think about how I’d like to respond (while preventing me from causing more damage in difficult situations – ask me how I know…). When I felt frustrated, disappointed or flat out desperate and took action, frankly, I seemed to worsen matters. Making wise choices was harder for me when emotions were strong and PPWS gave (gives) me a chance to make decisions after considering both my emotional and rational sides.
To be honest, sometimes, it is not easy; I aim to PPWS anyway. And, it’s wild how my emotions seem to catch up with my chosen calm(er) behavior.
Closing my mouth (which, truth be told, has involved holding my hand across my lips) and Pausing… or Praying/Meditating… or Waiting for a calmer time… or being Silent …or some combination of these has actually brought me more peace and (eventually, little by little) resulted in a more reasonable, tolerant way of being.
This strategy helps me quite regularly these days. For example, a work issue recently bubbled up; Silence (while Praying/Meditating) and taking time to mull it over helped me. Feeling less than calm on the inside initially, I kept my lips shut and waited for my emotions to settle which resulted in no hard feelings or damaged relationships. Taking 2 days to reply also enabled me to make a wiser business decision.
As Ryan Holiday says in The Obstacle is the Way, ‘obstacles make us emotional but the only way we’ll survive or overcome them is by keeping these emotions in check.’ This tactic isn’t ignoring feelings; I aim towards feeling and accepting how I feel and letting it wash through. This just gives me time to adjust my behavior and expectations such that choices that follow are more compassionate and beneficial to me and to others. Choosing any of these 4 options has also left (leaves) space for Divine help (and God knows I can surely use all the assistance possible).
Instead of reacting, I aim to choose (alas not perfectly!) Pausing, Praying/Meditating, Waiting for emotion to die down and/or Silence and these conscious (although not always easy) decisions have truly benefitted me and my relationships.
With deep faith in you and your ability to make it through,
Judy
Original Email Date May 8, 2020
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