I continue to hold the intention of sharing ideas with you on how I rose through adversity and (eventually) thrived such that, perhaps, this may aid you in finding bright spots, or even opportunities, within difficulties.
Life seems to provide plenty of chances to practice these relevant and useful discoveries; lately, ‘Responsibility’ is top of mind.
Rising from my life’s ashes involved taking Responsibility over what I controlled (as opposed to deflecting or making excuses).
Not always an easy pill to swallow. Sigh.
In the dark nights of my soul, I realized I could choose to take Responsibility – for my thoughts, actions and the state of my life – or not.
After flailing and failing, it dawned on me, thanks to books and others much wiser than I, that beneficial changes for me perhaps laid in taking more Responsibility.
Neale Donald Walsch describes this beautifully in ‘Conversations with God – Book 1’ – a beloved trilogy that I’ve read and re-read:
“…this is an advanced level of thinking and it is one which all masters reach sooner or later. It is only when they can accept Responsibility for all of it, that they can achieve the power to change part of it. So long as you entertain the notion that there is something or someone else out there doing it to you, you disempower yourself to do anything about it. Only when you can say ‘I did this’ can you find the power to change it. It is much easier to change what you are doing than to change what another is doing.”
The truth of this slayed me, an unnerving laser to my soul.
Deflections or flimsy justifications kept me circling the same mountains. Repeatedly.
As the awareness of this pitfall increasingly dawned on me, frankly, I wondered about my ability to change this. Little by little, I started paying attention and noticing whether I was taking Responsibility or not in various situations or relationships.
Then I gradually tweaked my thoughts and behaviors to reflect my choice to take more Responsibility for what I had control over by doing things like…
• owning my part of situations or issues while aiming towards being gentle on myself and forgiving my screw-ups and celebrating successes,
• holding my tongue when prudent and accepting others’ ways of being and doing instead of blaming, AKA finger-pointing, or
• following through on commitments in lieu of making excuses and being truthful with myself about keep-able promises.
In ‘Six Benefits of Taking Responsibility in Leadership,’ Jennifer Wilson clarifies that taking Responsibility means being seen as different (in a positive stand-out-from-the-crowd way), coachable, trusted, personal growth oriented and more powerful. Wow.
It is rather wondrous to me how accepting Responsibility for where I was or am in life is empowering, increases my self-respect, and opens me to areas where I can improve or receive support. A nod of gratitude to the Divine for this…
“Responsibility is a grace we give ourselves. It is not something imposed from outside of us. We have a say in how our life goes.” Thank you, Kristen Moeller.
Taking Responsibility for what I have control over – my thoughts, my words, my actions – is not always obvious, easy and/or simple for me, alas it helped and is helping me find my personal power.
I am a work in progress and there is always more alas, that’s ok; I own that too.
With my appreciation to you for reading to here and gratitude for Responsibility’s upside,