No. 35 – Releasing

No. 35 – Releasing

Dear One,

With my continued, heartfelt intention to share what aided my traversing adversity and rising such that you may discover ways to turn challenges into less pain, or more wholeness or, even, more wisdom or peace or success, I offer you, ‘Releasing.’

Formerly, holding hard stuff inside was my general MO.  Scary, uncomfortable, icky-to-look-at bits remained under wraps.  Shame and perfectionism swept this stuff under my proverbial rug – AKA ‘lumpy rug syndrome’.  Avoiding pain generally seemed easier.  I bottled it and trudged on.  Or numbed with work, food, exercise, general busy-ness – the list went on. 

Without a Release. 

Which seemed like it worked.

Until… it didn’t.

I carried within what I hadn’t dealt with head on. 

“If we don’t deal with the pain when it occurs, it will re-surface as compounded emotional toxicity later on – showing up as insomnia, hostility and anger, or fear and anxiety.  …[This can be] turned inward at yourself believing ‘it’s all my fault.’  That guilt depletes our physical, emotional, and spiritual energy until any initiative or movement feels impossible.  We feel exhausted and paralyzed leading to depression” per ‘Deepak Chopra’s 7-Step Exercise to Release Emotional Turbulence – Gaiam article.

The drag created by said-stuffed-junk held me back; it’s weight held me under. 

Upon discernment, the Truth required facing and Releasing. 

Helpful to me Releasing thoughts include:

• Slowly approaching easier challenges before digging into biggies was more tolerable.  Starting with less sensitive topics where success was more likely and working from there bolstered confidence and built on wins – instead of forcing what I wasn’t yet ready for, 

• Experimenting – especially initially.  Releasing in a Process over Perfection manner not necessarily via what others said ‘worked’ or ‘must be done,’ I played with it and tried what felt a fit in lieu of a one-size-fits-all approach,

• During Silent meditation/prayer time in a quiet place or on long walks, I mulled, mused, and considered – in detail – challenges faced like watching a movie.  Aiming to Accept what came up and Trust it surfaced for healing while limiting shaming, judging, or blaming myself.  I shared with and felt heard by the Divine.  Occasional private weeps that occurred were cathartic,

• Placing a hand gently where the pain was felt within, internally I describe the feeling – or out loud if feasible.  Bearing in mind I gotta feel it to heal it, and

• Taking Breaks or pacing Releasing, Listening to Gut Knowing as to what could use addressing, and Choosing timing assisted this process in continuing in a beneficial and achievable way.

With nearly tangible feeling relief, I continued – and leaned into Releasing.  Handing over to the Divine eventually felt like medicine. 

Talking to Whomever on solo car rides, speaking with a trusted therapist, sharing with a loving, dearest one (2 or 4 legged), or writing and journaling are some other Releasing options instead of holding stuff in, simmering, or swallowing.  Whatever works or floats one’s boat.

Per Bessel van der Kolk in The Body Keeps the Score, “talking, understanding and human connections help” yet “no single approach fits everybody.”

Initially frightening while ultimately Light-ening, Releasing occurred gradually and incrementally.  It’s a process – and if it elicits an expletive when dicey you’re in plenty of company. 

Gently peeling the proverbial onion.  Then, peeling some more.  Combined with lavished self-care and Compassion.

Opening to and looking at what wasn’t quite easy in a palatable manner which varied day to day – or moment to moment, Releasing freed and/or shifted what no longer served me and helped me move towards peace. 

Not minimizing what was searingly painful, it changed it.  In Releasing, even the worst was, somehow, metabolized.  Or more ok.  Or less painful.  Or reduced.  Or traverse-able.  Or, at best, eliminated.  (In time.)  Hoo-ray.  I found truth in what Dr. Chopra wrote about Releasing; “it’s a key to good health and well-being physically, mentally, and spiritually.” 

Releasing what was fear-inducing was part of healing, moving toward whole-i-fying and Rising.  Releasing allowed me to “create a space for the good that [I] desired” (Bob Proctor).

It was and is truth telling; it is being seen and heard – messy, human, Imperfect parts and all.

What an alembic – AKA transforming – and even purifying process it has been.  Humbled Gratitude to God and all the Holies who help…

With an open heart and faith in your power to Release and rise,


Original Email Date:  January 29, 2021

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