No. 48 – Giving Back to YourSelf

No. 48 – Giving Back to YourSelf

Dear One,

With the continuing intention of sharing illuminating ideas that serve you in moving towards whatever you long for – or/and perhaps through challenge, I offer you “Giving Back to YourSelf.” (Capital S on purpose.)

With a past tendency to over people-please, perfectionism prodded, ‘try to be perfect for everyone with everything do.  Oh, and don’t get rejected.’  Yikes.

Going-along-to-get-along, putting others’ needs before my own, and ignoring Gut Knowing resulted in feeling like Giving to mySelf was, almost, wrong. 

Without applying my oxygen mask first, I wearied and struggled – as did dear ones and work.  

Life going sideways shepherded in a potent desire to take Action, especially in taking care of mySelf.  

Because “if you don’t Give Back to Yourself, you simply will not be effective as a teacher, a leader, a supervisor, a parent, a coach, anything.  Self-Care is huge.  

Unfortunately, many people feel some guilt about taking care of themselves; they view Self-Care as selfish.  It’s not selfish – it’s essential.  

Remember, the major tool you have in helping others change – whether you are a parent, teacher, coach, therapist, or friend – is you.”  Thank you, Dr. Bruce Perry – and Oprah for your book, What Happened to You?

“We have to take care of ourSelves so we can bring ourSelves.”

Mic drop.  For this book’s Oprah quote.

Giving Back to YourSelf is individual and unique for everyone.  Here are tips I dig:

• Reading, especially in Silence.  Books, magazines, newspapers, or …  Audiobooks too though,

• Boundaries – make it clear to others what’s ok and not ok.  Saying n-o can be kind to all in certain situations,

• Prayer and/or meditating is a daily fav tank filler,

• Quiet reflecting.  Maybe in nature looking at trees or watching clouds or taking a bath.  Sans electronics,  

• Tea breaks – bonus if on a comfy, pretty purple sofa.  Wait.  Maybe that’s just me?  Breaks in general calm, shift focus, and renew,

• Connecting, in person preferably, alas whatever floats your boat,

• Writing, gratitude journaling, listing your talents on paper, or doodling,

• Hugs with loved ones – longer ones feel soul-satisfying,

• Personal dance parties with Alexa on 10 when no one’s home,

• Walking – or any blissifying exercise.  Rhythm is healing per Dr. Perry,

• Early to bed followed by a solid 8 hours,

• Playing – boardgaming, driving your moped, skiing.  Pick your pleasure,

• Self-Compassion including departing a heated chat to cool down,

• Sitting in a sacred space & ‘Listening’ to what floats.  Divine connection = y e s,

• Eating veggies and fruit, and occasionally a large spoon of vanilla ice cream or more,

• Wearing clothes that feel like home,

• Earlyish rising to walk.  On a beach, in the neighborhood, through a park, down the driveway,

• Driving peaceful back roads while blasting beloved music, and/or

• Doing or not doing what elicits an internal smile.  Aiming for Flexibility so self-care occurs, instead of not. 

If none of this feels joyful, restorative, or replenishing, ‘tis a-ok.  Try what you think might.

Moira Lawler’s article offers other ideas and types of emotional, physical, and spiritual Self-care while indicating Giving Back to YourSelf can be more temporary like dinner with a friend, or enduring like practicing regular mindfulness. 

Self-Care Has Never Been More Important.  Amen, Rebecca A. Clay; her sage suggestions are sticking to routines, limiting news, and learning something new.

Care to do more for YourSelf yet it feels like one. more. thing.?  Doing a little is better than none.  If it feels kinda foreign, perhaps consider doing even 3 minutes, or less, of something that seems yummy.  You TRULY deserve it.

With heartfelt belief in your ability to Give Back to YourSelf to recharge and care for precious you,


Original Email Date:  July 2, 2021

Click to listen to the audio podcast of the above post