Dear One,
For illuminating your path, alleviating challenges, and elevating you from wherever you are, I offer you, with heartfelt intention, ‘What Harder Situations Merit.’
What if an unexpected relationship breakup happened, a chronic illness takes nearly all reserves, or the company you felt certain would soar – bankrupted?
Making the next step, or even surviving until tomorrow, feels quicksand-ish (let alone achieving to optimum).
Perfectionism may press: ‘fix it all now!,’ ‘there’s no way out; life is ruined,’ or, ‘there was 1 way through – and that ship sailed.’ All or nothing thinking can create a mental dust storm or the wish to dive in bed and pull covers overhead.
Realizing that, at times, Harder Situations Merit Lower Expectations, gradually – with practice -assisted my way through.
This isn’t lazy’s path to underperforming.
It’s potential relief for sky-high expectations that hamstring.
This is tweaking the desire to always be perfect with Lower Expectations or imperfection – when life challenges layer, a situation lands a 50-ton weight upon your heart, or you’re just. plain. busy.
Perfectionism feeds us untruths – that may shame, blame, and judge. Or, leads to disappointment, burnout, or discouragement.
When an intense drive to succeed causes continual treading of water sensation due to attempting to perfectionize all commitments – at the same high level and energy – our nose may fall below the proverbial water line during a Harder Situation.
Giving a whirl to more realistic Expectations can increase inner calm, improve outlook, and give space to b r e a t h e.
With said space, thinking’s more clear, actions more Grace-full, decisions for possible next steps more easily made.
Here’s Harder Situations Merit Lower Expectations useful ideas:
• Pare back commitments to must-dos. Question expectations. Perfectionism can be pushy, deceiving into thinking ‘it’s all important’,
• Compromise can be your friend. Take a small bite of working through a tricky circumstance instead of telling yourself you’ll not or can’t do it or you need to complete the whole kit & caboodle – in the next day,
• Saying ‘no, thank you’ or nothing at all. When peace flies the coop, saying ‘Yes’ to what gut knowing hollers ‘No’ might worsen a Situation,
• Take care of you. A hot bath while others figure out dinner, solo drive with fav tunes turned up instead of attending a work lunch, 10-minute pup walk over extra Zoom time, or 5-minute stretch instead of folding a large laundry pile. This sends y-o-u a nonverbal message that ‘You matter, you’re worth it, and you are a priority,’
• Prayer, meditation, solitude, and/or silence instead of returning a call or text with a former significant other or previous workmate. This can clear the mind’s windshield,
• In balance, if talking with a trusted friend, therapist, partner, mentor helps level expectations, go for it, and/or
• Good enough output = ok sometimes; you don’t have to be superhuman. 50% or, heck, 10%, is fine during hardship or on unimportant tasks. When pain sears or commitments overwhelm, the Amazon box can sit, emails remain unopened, or texts go unanswered for a bit. Doing a smidge – decently – instead of nothing keeps momentum going.
Reducing Expectations can minimize frustration and improve or shift perspective and outlook. With a fresh mind, novel thoughts have a chance to float up for potentially creative, innovative solutions to previously intractable seeming issues.
In letting some things go and choosing Lower Expectations in Harder Situations, internal pressure may ease and better functioning recover more quickly.
“If you can learn to stop Expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you.” Yes, Lisa Kleypas.
Sending you Compassion and Love – and holding myself to these suggestions by not over-checking & wrapping up,
Judy
Original Email Date: September 3, 2021