No. 81 – Avoiding

No. 81 – Avoiding

Dear One,

With the heartfelt intention of offering you thoughts to aid you with unhelpful ‘Avoiding.’

To assist you in dealing with what may be holding back Lyme healing.

Is Avoiding helping you or … not-so-much?  

Whether Avoiding is beneficial or detrimental depends on the situation.

Avoiding can be for our protection.  With Divine reason. 

Like walking away from a stranger when gut says N-O or tactically Avoiding someone whose words and behaviors merit clear, firm boundaries.  For our well-being.

“Part of happiness in life consists not in fighting battles, but in Avoiding them.”  Yes, Norman Vincent Peale.

There can also be parts of ourselves that feel like they are disappearing or disgruntled deep beneath the surface – which we may Avoid.  Or effortful, extreme, persistent Avoiding attempts around Lyme.  Or spending time and energy Avoiding a ‘hard’ talk may cause more wasted fear-y energy than actually having the chat.

When we Avoid to not deal with what’s feared yet longs to be addressed, fear keeps coming back. 

Saying ‘please don’t let it happen’ won’t cut it.  Ask me how I know…  (Sheesh.)

Here are tips to help:

• Curiosity’s golden – Mull the possibility that there are topics we step around or away from which, instead, we might turn – perhaps verrrrry slowly – towards.  Considering there may be unhelpful Avoiding occurring – even in a small way – is a productive step,

• Not sure if there is Avoiding happening?  Perhaps pray for Heavenly help and/or jot or journal; ‘What might I be Avoiding?’  Or, ‘If I were Avoiding anything, what would it be?’  Or, your prompt choice.  Then, let it flow.  Onto the paper.  If feels like too much to even write it down, ponder it.  Or consider speaking it out loud to yourself – privately.  Holding an intention that whatever arises, is bubbling up for healing.  Nothing coming forth?  It’s ok.  Go gentle on yourself.  Just asking a question begins your wise, deep, and loving unconscious to work on this.  Leave it be as it may take time; you can revisit it later.  The goal here is to increase awareness around Avoiding,

• Imagination’s a helper – Your creative mind can assist as topics Avoided are realized.  By visualizing yourself expressing and practicing ahead of time – facing what’s been prior sidestepped out of fear.  Like – envision having a family talk where you speak the truth – even if just a part of it to start, peaceably.  A topic that has been pushed aside or pretended about.  This may take some practice.  And practicing.  Until it feels easy-er or easy enough-ish to consider addressing in person.  FYI, it may still feel teeth gritted or pretty uncomfortable,

• Anxiety rising and feeling too hard?  Re-focus on calming yourself and taking care of yourself. Close eyes – if comfortable.  Just softening your gaze works too.  Deeeeeep breathe – as if into and out of your heart.  Slowly.  Yawn some – on purpose.  Stretch.  Place a few finger pads on both hands beside your jaw joint and either rub gently in circles or lift up gently to relax your nervous system.  Think of your highest value.  Love, connection, or whatever.  Repeat over and over within.  Feel relaxed vibes.  You’ve successfully disengaged ‘fear’ in your brain’s amygdala and engaged ‘possibility’ in the frontal cortex.  Now, or later when calmer, peruse your Avoiding notes.  You’ll potentially see things differently or notice where expressing feels do-able.  Sean Croxton and Anna The Anxiety Coach on IG tip kudos,

• Experiment – with facing a small something that’s been Avoided prior.  Starting with what’s minor may feel – and be – more achievable to have success.  Eventually, successes accumulate with easier subjects, then harder situations or issues can be faced.  Over time, with practice – and practice, what previously seemed super hard (uh, if not impossible) to address can seem incrementally less hard.  Then, not so hard.  To eventually be pretty do-able.  Really,

• Imperfection’s dandy – Doing it messy is a-ok.  It’s ‘doing it’ that matters.  Then, reward your dear self.  And, relish the sense of having the emotional weight lifted off of you, and

• Feels too hard still?  Therapy, EFT, coaching, or other professionals may assist.  It’s a-ok.  This gal has tapped them all – pun intended.

“You cannot find peace by Avoiding life” per Virginia Woolf.  Ah, this has proven to be true on my end, friend. 

We can lean into what’s been previously Avoided.  Step by step.  Little by little, a little becomes a lot.  And, before too long, feelings and thoughts stymied within are liberated – supported Lyme healing.  Yummmmm.

Off to express love – and not Avoid my peeps – while I beam faith in powerful you,