No. 84 – Chrysalis-ing

No. 84 – Chrysalis-ing

Dear One,

With intention of helping you heal Lyme, I share on ‘Chrysalis-ing.’

Are you feeling like clarity’s evaporated and mental fog or confusion’s occurring?

Perhaps it’s due to Lyme and co-infections or who knows whatever else…

I call this Chrysalis-ing.

Like a caterpillar.

Whose “old body dies and a new body forms” per

It feels like internal muck soup, a total mess, potentially a lost cause – with nothing redeeming nor palatable. 

The last thing you’re perhaps interested in hearing is, ‘You can do it!’ or ‘It’ll be ok.’  (Grrrr.) Albeit potentially truthful, this feels like denial or unhelpful platitudes.

Crying, hollering, or going to bed and pulling the covers alllllll the way overhead (with the sense of never feeling like coming out) is normal.

And, ok – it’s expressing how you feel.  So have at it.  To allow it to move through.

What else could help?

• Self soothe – A vagus nerve support exercise by Stanley Rosenberg can aid in bringing your nervous system towards regulation from fight or flight.  Lie on your back with fingers laced behind your neck. Gently look to your left for 60 seconds, without turning your head.  Then bring eyes looking straightforward. Then look right seconds.  Signs this is working can be a soft sigh, yawn, relaxing of shoulders, or eased feeling in the gut.  Repeat as feels yummy for Chrysalis-ing self-care,

• Feel it – Drive your car with tunes blasting on back roads while you holler-sing, full-on ugly cry, throw eggs at a tree (a dear friend swore this was cathartic), write it out on pages and pages of paper, or … whatever brings up and out emotions,

• Zzzzzz earlier – How mundane and over-described, eh?  Yet when you’re hankering to give up or the next five minutes let alone 5 weeks, months, or years, feel like they could melt your brain, this simple, annnnnd, not necessarily easy action can make a smidge of difference.  Every itty bitty piece of aid is welcome, especially in Chrysalis times,

• Express to another – Who can witness and hold space for you per your intuition’s prompting? Maybe speak to a trusted 4-legger, share with a therapist, top-volume-yell with a partner (who is aware it’s for release), and pray aloud through tears to the Divine.  When we suppress, “deny, or minimize what we’re feeling, it backfires.”  Maybe we’re protecting ourselves or others at the moment which is valid; no reason to beat yourself up if that’s the case.  Eventually though, not expressing can be depressing and this “deprives [others], not letting them in.  Denying them the opportunity to try to protect,” listen, or support per Edith Eger’s The Gift,

• You aren’t alone – Ever.  Even when it feels as such, Heaven’s there.  I am here.  We are pulling for you and believing in your ability to Chrysalis, learn, and butterfly.  You are welcome to hit reply and reach back out as I’d be honored to hold space for you, and 

• Impermanence – If nothing comforts, all above grates on nerves, and you cannot imagine doing anything at all, perhaps mull that nothing’s forever.  Change, at some point, shall occur.  This mess can shift – some way, somehow.  If that is all you have right now, that is ok enough.  Because in this thought lies the seed of truth that butterflying is possible.

Eventually, dear you, using the above to assist can shepherd in a tiny glimmer of hope, peace, or consolation. Or a golden nugget to which to cling and relish.

May God, in this moment, wrap you in comfort and knowing – even with 1% of a pinky toe…

That perhaps, possibly, potentially, maaaaaabe, a microscopic part of you shall, gradually, in steps, notice some type of redeemingness in the Chrysalis for you to gently, quietly, sweetly …


With massive love from me to you, beautiful butterfly,